Wail.

Have you noticed them? Tiny human beings with shrill voices and teary eyes? They can be most commonly found at public places in the company of visibly embarrassed parents. Well, of course you’ve noticed them. They’re everywhere – the crying baby is literally omnipresent.

The experience is universal. You step into a night-train after a long, tiring day, lugging your luggage. You locate your number – it’s a lower berth! Thanking your stars, you start believing that you will have a much deserved night’s rest, before facing another long day. Humming happily, you stow your bags and lay out your berth linen. Your co-passengers filter into the compartment, but you hardly look at them – you’re convinced that you’re going to enjoy an undisturbed sound sleep. The train chugs out of the platform, the lights are turned off, you stretch on your berth and shut your eyes. You’re floating, feeling light. You begin falling into an incredibly warm, comfortable state of sleepiness. Now, this is bliss.

SHRIEK.

You wake up with a jolt and try to make sense of what awoke you. The sounds and shapes around you confuse you. You look harder. There, you’ve spotted the source of the noise. It’s a baby. Wait. It’s not one of those bright-as-sunshine babies that happily endorse diapers and lotions on commercials, but a baby in the worst possible mood – a wailing, shrieking little human being. No amount of effort from the desperate mother work. Wailing baby wins. You lose. You enjoy a sleepless night where you try but fail miserably to shut the noise out, simultaneously sympathizing with mothers of all wailing babies around the world and marvelling at how your level of tolerance drastically decreases as the hours go by.

The movie experience is similar and astonishingly certain. Every crucial dialogue is invariably marked by a sudden, piercing wail, duly followed by a hapless father (who is usually deputed to carry out the task) escorting the source of the noise out of the theatre. Momentary calm ensues, but that’s when a second baby decides that the scene is too quiet for comfort. WAIL. The cycle continues.

Maybe they’re conspiring against us adults, corresponding in a secret language comprising shrieks, wails and the occasional, fleeting grin. Maybe not. Maybe it’s an irrevocable law of life (You were a crying baby once, and hence, you shall have one too). Maybe it’s worth it. Maybe the cuddles and giggles far outnumber the crying. Maybe it’s all a part of the wonderful, wonderful experience of raising a child. Maybe.